Today I had a pleasant surprise when my parents told me they were driving to Raleigh to bring me some things and take me out to dinner. My heart instantly became more joyful as I knew I was going to get to spend some time with my family. However in the back of my mind I knew that the one bad part about them coming, was that they were going to indeed have to leave again.
When they moved me into this apartment exactly three weeks ago today, they spent the night with me for my first night in the apartment. However, the next evening (my birthday) they packed up their cars and my moving truck and headed back to High Point. The second I said goodbye to my brother I began tearing up. But I'm the big sister so I held myself together and then off he went. My parents accompanied me back upstairs to my apartment and we said our goodbyes there. Well... I cried like a baby. When they left I continued to sob and I was fearful the same thing would happen tonight.
Well this time I made it until they were at least out the door and then I started crying. I cried because my family was going back "home" to where my heart still feels like it should be. Yet I'm here. Alone in this apartment, without a family. To be honest this is the first time I have been without family. At school I was only about 35 minutes from my biological family and I always lived with people that I loved like family. Now it's just me.
Now don't get me wrong, I love living alone. Truly I do. However, having my family here with me today reminded me what it is like to live with people that you love.
So once I started crying I just kept crying. I think I'm crying because I want to be back at Elon. I'm crying because I miss being with my family. I'm crying because I Miss the friends I used to be with 24/7. I think a part of me is also crying out of some frustrations at work.
This morning after hearing from my parents and receiving two sweet birthday gifts and cards from friends, I was reminded that life is about more than work (which has been consuming my world lately). Life is about loving God with your whole heart and having family and friends that you love and love you back.
I'm hoping that this week I will keep my eyes and my heart focused on the things that truly matter. The things and the people that I cry over when I'm forced to say "see you later." I'm hoping if I can focus on these things, that this week might be a little better.
