So last night as a friend and I were contemplating our evening activities, we found ourselves on the topic of alcohol and God's view on drinking etc.
At that point I think God called Pastor Mark and said, "I think you should go have a honest conversation with these girls about your word and the truths found there."
Pastor Mark must have responded and said, "Don't worry I'll get them in the morning at church in front of everybody else."
We definitely weren't expecting it as we walked into church this morning that is for sure. The sermon was all about deception and the way the devil tries to deceive us into believing things other than the God's truths. In the garden of eden Satan tried to convince Eve to bring Go's word under human judgment. The devil still does that today! We are constantly questioning, "Did God really say that?" We try to modify what the scriptures say based on our feelings. Also, we do things that we may know are wrong, with the understanding that God will forgive us.
However, the word of God is 100% of God and there is no wiggle room in what it says right. If I say that I believe that the bible is the word of God then who am I to think I can go and change the meanings to meet my needs?
Matthew 7:13-15 Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
As a Christian I am called to enter through the small gate and walk down the narrow road that leads to life.
So now my goal is to learn to narrow the roads I am walking down.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
If I Found my Identity in Christ...
...I would be more confident.
...I wouldn't be so embarrassed when I mess up.
...I wouldn't care so much about what people think of my sorority.
...I would have a better concept of who I am.
...I wouldn't have to work so hard to please others.
...I would be more okay with the mistakes I make.
If I found my identity in Christ life wouldn't be easier.. but some things would definitely improve.
...I wouldn't be so embarrassed when I mess up.
...I wouldn't care so much about what people think of my sorority.
...I would have a better concept of who I am.
...I wouldn't have to work so hard to please others.
...I would be more okay with the mistakes I make.
If I found my identity in Christ life wouldn't be easier.. but some things would definitely improve.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Falling in love with Jesus...
Your love is deep
Your love is high
Your love is long
Your love is wide
Your love is deeper than my view of grace
Higher than this worldly place
Longer than this road I travel
Wider than the gap you fill
I am falling in love with Jesus and his love is indescribable. He loves me in ways that I can't fathom. His love is perfect and can conquer anything. If you know His love then that warms my heart.
If you don't...I pray that you will. It is the best thing that ever happened to me and the best thing that ever will.
Your love is high
Your love is long
Your love is wide
Your love is deeper than my view of grace
Higher than this worldly place
Longer than this road I travel
Wider than the gap you fill
I am falling in love with Jesus and his love is indescribable. He loves me in ways that I can't fathom. His love is perfect and can conquer anything. If you know His love then that warms my heart.
If you don't...I pray that you will. It is the best thing that ever happened to me and the best thing that ever will.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Question # 1
Is my relationship with God my number one priority?
I want to say yes. But I'm not sure I can and stlil answer honestly. I don't even know what that question really means. What does it look like to have your relationship with God as your number one priority? The first thing that I thought it looked like was loving Him with all my heart soul and mind?
If so... what does it look like to love God that way? I personally see it as loving other people. Seeing as He isn't a physical being on earth for me to love on, I see loving God as loving Him through others. But then I feel as if I am back to the point of putting my relationships with others before God.
I've been sitting here trying to figure it out, but to no success. I shamelessly turned to the world of google, and googled something to the effect of "how do you put your relationship with God first?" I perused through one site that was lame and gave me the following "steps"
"But seek first the kingdom and his righteousness..."
Worship God
Hear from God
Meditate on God
Pray to God
Not super helpful. I know these things. But I want the REAL answer.
So I tried another site, that was like a Christian chat room where someone had posted a similar question. I read through lots of the responses and still didn't find anything helpful. As I was nearing the bottom of a rather lengthy chat discussion a short one liner caught my eye: "fall in love with Jesus."
This answer struck me. What a simple answer. Fall in love with Jesus.
I can't claim to ever have been in love, but when people are in love, I think that relationship (when healthy) becomes a huge priority. So if I truly fell in love with Jesus, it would be simple for Him to be my number one relationship. Right?
I'm gonna try to focus more and more on the reasons I love God and fall more and more in love with him. I guess we will see where this journey takes me.
I want to say yes. But I'm not sure I can and stlil answer honestly. I don't even know what that question really means. What does it look like to have your relationship with God as your number one priority? The first thing that I thought it looked like was loving Him with all my heart soul and mind?
If so... what does it look like to love God that way? I personally see it as loving other people. Seeing as He isn't a physical being on earth for me to love on, I see loving God as loving Him through others. But then I feel as if I am back to the point of putting my relationships with others before God.
I've been sitting here trying to figure it out, but to no success. I shamelessly turned to the world of google, and googled something to the effect of "how do you put your relationship with God first?" I perused through one site that was lame and gave me the following "steps"
"But seek first the kingdom and his righteousness..."
Worship God
Hear from God
Meditate on God
Pray to God
Not super helpful. I know these things. But I want the REAL answer.
So I tried another site, that was like a Christian chat room where someone had posted a similar question. I read through lots of the responses and still didn't find anything helpful. As I was nearing the bottom of a rather lengthy chat discussion a short one liner caught my eye: "fall in love with Jesus."
This answer struck me. What a simple answer. Fall in love with Jesus.
I can't claim to ever have been in love, but when people are in love, I think that relationship (when healthy) becomes a huge priority. So if I truly fell in love with Jesus, it would be simple for Him to be my number one relationship. Right?
I'm gonna try to focus more and more on the reasons I love God and fall more and more in love with him. I guess we will see where this journey takes me.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Full of Questions...
Is my relationship with God my number one priority?
What IS my number one priority?
What are my motives behind loving other people?
What relationships do I place too much pressure on?
What or who am I turning into Gods?
Is my relationship with myself healthy?
Am I ambitious in the negative kinds of ways?
Why do I always have to be busy?
Do I live only to glorify myself?
Where do my insecurities come from?
Why isn't God healing me the way I ask?
What good could come from the pain I feel?
In what areas of my life does God want to bring redemption?
What makes me worthy of love from others?
Why do I feel inadequate?
How is God so forgiving after my continuous failures?
What do I really have to complain about?
How wrapped up am I in myself and worldly things?
Where do my struggles originate from?
Why am I so blessed and others aren't?
Why am I using quick fixes to problems that God could heal?
Do I underestimate the power of God?
Am I ready to have God fully reign in my life?
Tonight our intern Lizzie spoke at IV. Her talk, coupled with some amazing worship brought me to all of the questions above. My goal over the next couple of weeks is to tackle these questions as I more intimately pursue a honest and authentic relationship with my God.
What IS my number one priority?
What are my motives behind loving other people?
What relationships do I place too much pressure on?
What or who am I turning into Gods?
Is my relationship with myself healthy?
Am I ambitious in the negative kinds of ways?
Why do I always have to be busy?
Do I live only to glorify myself?
Where do my insecurities come from?
Why isn't God healing me the way I ask?
What good could come from the pain I feel?
In what areas of my life does God want to bring redemption?
What makes me worthy of love from others?
Why do I feel inadequate?
How is God so forgiving after my continuous failures?
What do I really have to complain about?
How wrapped up am I in myself and worldly things?
Where do my struggles originate from?
Why am I so blessed and others aren't?
Why am I using quick fixes to problems that God could heal?
Do I underestimate the power of God?
Am I ready to have God fully reign in my life?
Tonight our intern Lizzie spoke at IV. Her talk, coupled with some amazing worship brought me to all of the questions above. My goal over the next couple of weeks is to tackle these questions as I more intimately pursue a honest and authentic relationship with my God.
Let the Countdown Begin...
Here is my official warning, if you don't want to know the facts and figures about the time left here at Elon... stop reading (or rather skip the next 4 lines)
Time till Graduation (May 22, 2010)
56,160 Minutes
936 Hours
39 Days
6 Weeks (Counting This One)
5 Weekends (6 if you count graduation weekend)
This reality hit me tonight as I sat with Natalie and we realized we only have three weekends left together. My stomach literally flipped upside down a couple of times as this reality began to sink in, or flip in, whichever way you look at it.
That is not a lot of time. I'm trying to not let the fear of running out of time ruin my moments.
The moments are what mean so much. Sitting in church Thursday night holding tightly onto my roommates as we cried together. Kayaking on the lake on Saturday. Margarita Monday this evening filled with joyous laughs and honest conversations. Talking until 12:30 am when you are getting up for class at 7.
My goal for every day is going to be to see past the stresses of life (papers, projects, meetings, etc) and look for the moments that I'm going to remember.
These are the moments that matter, with the people that matter. To my people...you mean the world to me. I'm looking forward to every last moment we have together before we each begin our new adventures.
Time till Graduation (May 22, 2010)
56,160 Minutes
936 Hours
39 Days
6 Weeks (Counting This One)
5 Weekends (6 if you count graduation weekend)
This reality hit me tonight as I sat with Natalie and we realized we only have three weekends left together. My stomach literally flipped upside down a couple of times as this reality began to sink in, or flip in, whichever way you look at it.
That is not a lot of time. I'm trying to not let the fear of running out of time ruin my moments.
The moments are what mean so much. Sitting in church Thursday night holding tightly onto my roommates as we cried together. Kayaking on the lake on Saturday. Margarita Monday this evening filled with joyous laughs and honest conversations. Talking until 12:30 am when you are getting up for class at 7.
My goal for every day is going to be to see past the stresses of life (papers, projects, meetings, etc) and look for the moments that I'm going to remember.
These are the moments that matter, with the people that matter. To my people...you mean the world to me. I'm looking forward to every last moment we have together before we each begin our new adventures.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
A post with no real point...
Many things happened today that are basically unrelated, and in the grand scheme of things relatively unimportant but I'm going to document anyway.
The day began with my stomach in knots. My first trip to the gynecologist would begin my day. Welcome to the adult world! That's all I'm going to say about that.
I then spent some time in conversation with my friend Kyle were I proceeded to tell him that my gynecologist appointment had gone well. This is hilarious because one random day he was looking through one of my roommates phone and saw a text saying I had scheduled an appointment there. He was mortified. I thought it would be funny to say something to him after my appointment just for a good laugh. I have to take a moment to say that this is not something I would do with any random boy.. but if you knew Kyle you would understand. Nothing phases him. We had lunch and the gynecologist was openly discussed. Weird? Nahh. Hilarious. Normal.
After that lovely lunch I went to class where I got outwardly frustrated with a professor and told her so. If you know me, then you know this is highly out of character for me. That is how angry she made me. So I left feeling flustered, and tense. Thanks for that. (True Thanks to Natalie for rubbing my back later to help decrease some of the tension in my shoulders)
I quickly rushed to my 3:30 meeting with a guy who I am currently praising the Lord for. He told me that this massive project I have looming over my head will basically be completed by HIM if I just get all the materials to him! GREAT NEWS! Now I just need to bug all the fellows to get their stuff to me. Then we will be good to go :)
Dinner time came around and we had house dinner. Natalie cooked Tacos :) yumm. We had strawberry shortcake for dessert. Well one thing led to another and four 21/22 year old girls were food fighting with cool whip. We are still finding cool whip remains in various places of the house but it was totally worth it. We were genuinely laughing together. Soaking up these precious moments we have before graduation.
We then had a lovely little pow-wow with two sophomores who are going to London like we did. We reminisced and gave advice, and just had fun being together.
I then found out Greg and his girlfriend broke up. She dumped him. His little heart was broken. I could hear him holding the tears back as he told me. His texts to me throughout the evening just made me sad. I know he is in so much pain. I want to be able to look at him and say "Greg... you are 16. It is going to be fine." But I know to him the pain is so real. I just received a text they are kind of dating again on a "trial basis" whatever that means. I just hope he is happy. I love that boy.
Okay well that's all.
Tomorrow I have
8-Class
9:45- Meeting
10:45- Presentation
1:00- Meeting
2:00- Meeting
5:00- Dinner with a friend
6:00- Birthday Dinner
9:00- Greys
10:00 Thursday Night Worship
Then it will be FRIDAY! Then the WEEKEND! Whew.
Then next week which is going to kick my butt. Great :)
The day began with my stomach in knots. My first trip to the gynecologist would begin my day. Welcome to the adult world! That's all I'm going to say about that.
I then spent some time in conversation with my friend Kyle were I proceeded to tell him that my gynecologist appointment had gone well. This is hilarious because one random day he was looking through one of my roommates phone and saw a text saying I had scheduled an appointment there. He was mortified. I thought it would be funny to say something to him after my appointment just for a good laugh. I have to take a moment to say that this is not something I would do with any random boy.. but if you knew Kyle you would understand. Nothing phases him. We had lunch and the gynecologist was openly discussed. Weird? Nahh. Hilarious. Normal.
After that lovely lunch I went to class where I got outwardly frustrated with a professor and told her so. If you know me, then you know this is highly out of character for me. That is how angry she made me. So I left feeling flustered, and tense. Thanks for that. (True Thanks to Natalie for rubbing my back later to help decrease some of the tension in my shoulders)
I quickly rushed to my 3:30 meeting with a guy who I am currently praising the Lord for. He told me that this massive project I have looming over my head will basically be completed by HIM if I just get all the materials to him! GREAT NEWS! Now I just need to bug all the fellows to get their stuff to me. Then we will be good to go :)
Dinner time came around and we had house dinner. Natalie cooked Tacos :) yumm. We had strawberry shortcake for dessert. Well one thing led to another and four 21/22 year old girls were food fighting with cool whip. We are still finding cool whip remains in various places of the house but it was totally worth it. We were genuinely laughing together. Soaking up these precious moments we have before graduation.
We then had a lovely little pow-wow with two sophomores who are going to London like we did. We reminisced and gave advice, and just had fun being together.
I then found out Greg and his girlfriend broke up. She dumped him. His little heart was broken. I could hear him holding the tears back as he told me. His texts to me throughout the evening just made me sad. I know he is in so much pain. I want to be able to look at him and say "Greg... you are 16. It is going to be fine." But I know to him the pain is so real. I just received a text they are kind of dating again on a "trial basis" whatever that means. I just hope he is happy. I love that boy.
Okay well that's all.
Tomorrow I have
8-Class
9:45- Meeting
10:45- Presentation
1:00- Meeting
2:00- Meeting
5:00- Dinner with a friend
6:00- Birthday Dinner
9:00- Greys
10:00 Thursday Night Worship
Then it will be FRIDAY! Then the WEEKEND! Whew.
Then next week which is going to kick my butt. Great :)
Monday, April 5, 2010
To-Do Lists
I love lists.
I love getting things done.
I love being productive.
I love feeling as if I have accomplished things during the day.
I hate sitting still.
I hate disorganization.
I hate doing nothing.
I hate feeling as if the day has had no purpose to it.
Because of all of these things. I am constantly working on something. I am continually completing tasks and checking them off my list.
My list today included:
-Breakfast with Dad and Grammy
-Deal with forms at doctors office
-Notarize Application
-Haircut
-Deposit Money
-Email about Teaching Fellows Project
-Get dress measurements for Lisa's wedding
I have marked each one of these things off of my list and it is only 2:35 in the afternoon. Of course there are other things on my general life to do list, but this was specifically for this morning. Each of these things dealt with a different area of my life: social, health, personal, academic. Therefore my mind in this moment is all over the place. I am having trouble just sitting. I feel like I need something to do. Unfortunately the next thing on my list is my brother's tennis match at 4:30.
My roommate Natalie told me a couple of weeks ago that is okay to not do anything at all. Those words to me were like a revelation! She was telling me that it was okay, and even a good thing, to just relax, and just be.
As the last leg of my college career is now before me I really need to work on just enjoying the things around me. For example right now my Grandmother is here, and my Dad is home. I should be okay just sitting with them and enjoying their company. But instead I am all over the place trying to "get things done". My life is not so important that I need to be focused on the things. I need to be focused on the people.
Phew. Okay. I'm gonna take a few deep breaths and just enjoy being in the presence of my 90 year old Grammy sleeping across the room. I think I am going to put the lists away. (Until tomorrow anyway)
I love getting things done.
I love being productive.
I love feeling as if I have accomplished things during the day.
I hate sitting still.
I hate disorganization.
I hate doing nothing.
I hate feeling as if the day has had no purpose to it.
Because of all of these things. I am constantly working on something. I am continually completing tasks and checking them off my list.
My list today included:
-Breakfast with Dad and Grammy
-Deal with forms at doctors office
-Notarize Application
-Haircut
-Deposit Money
-Email about Teaching Fellows Project
-Get dress measurements for Lisa's wedding
I have marked each one of these things off of my list and it is only 2:35 in the afternoon. Of course there are other things on my general life to do list, but this was specifically for this morning. Each of these things dealt with a different area of my life: social, health, personal, academic. Therefore my mind in this moment is all over the place. I am having trouble just sitting. I feel like I need something to do. Unfortunately the next thing on my list is my brother's tennis match at 4:30.
My roommate Natalie told me a couple of weeks ago that is okay to not do anything at all. Those words to me were like a revelation! She was telling me that it was okay, and even a good thing, to just relax, and just be.
As the last leg of my college career is now before me I really need to work on just enjoying the things around me. For example right now my Grandmother is here, and my Dad is home. I should be okay just sitting with them and enjoying their company. But instead I am all over the place trying to "get things done". My life is not so important that I need to be focused on the things. I need to be focused on the people.
Phew. Okay. I'm gonna take a few deep breaths and just enjoy being in the presence of my 90 year old Grammy sleeping across the room. I think I am going to put the lists away. (Until tomorrow anyway)
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