Cleaning Away the Imperfections

Around 11 this evening I went on a crazy cleaning spree. Everything around me felt as if it was spinning out of control and I had no control over anything. My response: CLEAN

Lately I have felt as if I can't do anything right. Every relationship. Every action. Every lack of action. Whatever it is I do or whoever it is I interact with I'm messing up in one way or another. I can look back at every friendship, every involvement in an organization, and tell you how and when I failed those people or those organizations. I know the complete feeling of inadequacy is coming from the devil, but I think hidden in there somewhere are convictions from God.

Cleaning however... I can't mess that up. All that cleaning can do is make things better. It is taking something so dirty and making it clean. That is why I turned to this simple routine chore in the middle of my emotions. I cleaned for a little over an hour fighting tears all the way through as I kept thinking of my imperfections and how badly I want to be "cleaned". How I would love to be perfect, but I know that isn't an option.

As I kept thinking about how imperfect I am and how broken things are in this world, I have never more strongly longed to be with God. How I can't wait for the day when relationships are restored, earthly pain and suffering is taken away, and we are fully reconciled with Christ.

Until then, God I just pray to be more like You. Full of more Love, more Joy, more Peace, more Patience, more Kindness, more Goodness, more Faithfulness, more Gentleness, and more Self Control.

God Clean out my heart...