Stuck in the Middle

I think most people alive and aware of their surroundings during the Brittany Spears era probably knows the song "Not a Girl" The words go something like, "I'm not a girl not yet a woman."

Lately I've felt a little off as I don't feel like there is a place where I really "fit". I'm in that in between land. I'm not a teenager, not a college student, not an adult. Well I guess technically I am an adult but I don't feel like one. I'm too old to truly fit in with the people who I work with, too young to fully mesh with the "grownups". When I see people that I think are my age though I don't really know if I fit there either. Most people my age have boyfriends. Most people my age love going out to bars at nights. I would rather stay home. As I go to JP Looneys every Tuesday night I always see people who I assume are around my age and I desire nothing of that lifestyle. I am so happy basking in the fact that I am going inside to eat my chicken fingers and chips with lots of kids and families that brighten my life. Those evenings also remind me of my deep longing for kids and a family of my own one day, which then reminds me of my singleness which reminds me of my insecurities of being single forever. That's a whole other can of worms. Back to this "in between stuff"

Pause. Basically this whole post is dealing with me not feeling as if I fit in with anyone and my confusion as to who and where I am in life right now. I think these fears are probably deeply seeded in the fact that I am moving in one month from tomorrow to a new city with people I don't know. I'm worried about finding friends, and fitting into a community like I had at school. HOWEVER, as I was sitting here typing all this out my little blackberry dinged, and being the addict that I am I immediately reached over to grab it. The email was from a girl who teaches 1st grade at my school who lives in my apartment complex. This is only her second year teaching, and she is currently on a mission trip to Honduras. Does this or does this not sound like someone who I could maybe be friends with in my new world??

I then received a text from one of my co-workers and an IM from another one.. but showing that I have real friendships with them. So what I'm not a teenager anymore but I can still be friends with them!

Lastly, I get a text and then have a 20 minute phone call with a "grownup" friend that was completely comfortable and enjoyable. So maybe I am an adult...?

So as I was starting to sit here in this rut of the "in between", God was throwing it in my face that there is nothing wrong with where I am. I have wonderful people and friends in my life right now. They may look different than they have over the past 4 years but so what!? I need to embrace the gifts and the people that I have. My God is for me... not against me. Everything will be fine.